Book Review: 2/5 Impact On Me (Book By Sherrie Campbell)
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I picked up this book to understand how to let go of family or friends I don’t like. Its impact was a 2 out of 5 on me. The book didn't offer research, diverse cases, or a clear framework to approach the issue. Instead, it seemed like a collection of the author's rants about her mother, father, ex-husband, and siblings. She says they all seemed toxic to her. This made me wonder who the toxic one is here. What is more likely?
The book taught me about certain behaviors to watch for in family members and friends. For example, it talks about how you will keep trying to make a toxic person like you. They make you crave their affection. They might give you affection, give contempt or hate, then try to woo you back (hoover). Or how a toxic person will put in minimal effort to stay in touch and then blame you for lack of communication. It also describes a passive father who lets a toxic mother control family dynamics, always siding with her over the children. For instance, making the children apologize to the mother because she has "done so much for you." It even touches on toxic grandparents and adult children.
The examples felt too general, like reading a horoscope where anything could apply to anyone.
This book connects with Stanford's "Connect," which discusses how to maintain a superficial level in relationships when necessary. "Connect also shares a story about a father and daughter duo trying to overcome years of a relationship dynamic that did not suit the daughter.
The book references the Bible, noting that forgiveness is appropriate for family members who repent, recognize their mistakes, and want to change. However, it argues that forgiveness isn't necessary if they don't show remorse.
It presents two strategies for handling toxic family members. One is to stay polite but distant, like maintaining a superficial relationship. In this, you are cordial but don’t share a deep bond. The other strategy is choosing "no contact".