The Power Of Staying Connected - Experiment Over 365 Days
For years, I was irritated by the constant Facebook reminders to wish friends on their birthdays or anniversaries.
A mandatory "Happy Birthday!" message to a daily list felt impersonal and mechanical, like a to-do list I never asked for.
Then, I did an experiment of using these notifications as a prompt to rekindle old connections. Here’s what I tried and learned, from awkward beginnings to heartfelt reconnections.
You'll learn how small, thoughtful messages can make a big difference in your social life
I spend 20 minutes writing this. You need 2 minutes to read this.
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My Habits Before
I cared about my friends and connections but hesitated to message them. I thought:
Would they remember me?
Would they think I have no friends if I reached out from across the world?
What if they didn't reply?
My Habits After
I message friends or connections when I see their career changes or personal events.
I don’t hesitate to message them even if they didn’t respond last time.
I believe having a conversation with someone is better than not having that conversation. Even if you had that conversation because your calendar told you to.
Memories And Reconnections
Following reminders on Facebook and LinkedIn to wish people on their birthdays and anniversaries taught me the value of maintaining connections. These small gestures had a significant impact:
I reconnected with old classmates and colleagues from various stages of my life.
Reaching out often brought back pleasant memories, reminding me of shared experiences.
Even without significant memories, it became an opportunity to catch up and reflect on our journeys.
It sometimes led to introductions, clients, or collaborations!
A Genuine Boost To Relationships
Wishing someone on their birthday, career change, or anniversary felt like a genuine way to strengthen the relationship. There was no ulterior motive. I wasn't messaging them to gain something.
Personalizing Messages For Better Connections
I can either message someone:
“Happy birthday Jane!”
Or:
“Happy birthday Jane! Kudos on a year in to your venture! how has VentureName been?”
I realized I could make the (birthday or career change) wish a conversation by looking up their social media profile and bringing up something specific, rather than just saying "Happy birthday."
Finding Joy In Small Interactions
This process felt similar to having small, casual conversations with strangers, which can boost happiness. Engaging with others, even briefly, can spark curiosity and bring joy. It reminded me that paying attention to someone else can be life-giving, not only to them but also to yourself.
A simple "Happy Birthday" or "Congratulations" can brighten someone's day and make you feel more connected and alive.
The Power Of Consistency
The challenge lies in maintaining consistency in these interactions. It's easy to overlook these reminders or dismiss them as unimportant. However, I've learned that these small efforts are worthwhile. They help keep relationships alive, even when time and distance might have made them fade. By taking a few moments to acknowledge someone's special day, you strengthen bonds and create a network of positive connections. This simple act can profoundly impact life, making it richer and more fulfilling, as highlighted in The Good Life.
For a deeper dive into maintaining connections and the impact of consistent outreach, check out my other post, "12 Learnings and Tips from Reconnecting with Social and Work Connections."
Lessons From Missteps In Messaging
Sometimes, I messaged people months before their birthday because I had saved it wrong on my calendar, such as swapping the day and month.
Occasionally, I noticed that my last message to someone was exactly one year ago. In these cases, I sometimes
chose a different platform, like LinkedIn or WhatsApp, instead of Facebook,
ignored their birthday,
Or swallowed my pride, remembered my positive feelings for them, and wished them anyway.
Sometimes, I messaged someone the day before their birthday, talked about various topics, and realized three days later that I forgot to wish them on their actual birthday. It would have been better to remember the day and wish them in advance.
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