Book Review: 5/5 Impact On Me (Book By Charles Duhigg)
Read more about the book here
I'm really happy I preordered this book; it was a great read. It builds on top of Stanford's 'Connect' book and Gottman's research. I learned about the power of influencing conversations without appearing as the group's authoritative leader. This skill, influencing without authority, is essential for product managers. I also discovered the importance of mirroring, like matching someone's laugh. At a meetup yesterday, I was not enjoying my conversation. I noticed my laugh was quiet whereas others around me were laughing loudly. This made me realize they might not view me positively. Now, with the theory in mind and an observation of my behavior, I see ways to improve. The book made me think more about how to effectively mirror others.
I liked the jury trial example. It reminded me of the movie "12 Angry Men." The author guided me through the process of first understanding everyone's viewpoint, then gradual exertion of influence. ask open-ended questions. know what you want from a conversation since everyone wants something. Often people don't make their intentions clear, leading to disappointment on both sides. This insight is important for me as I have many discussions with potential clients, vendors, or collaborators as a consultant. Sometimes I don't know what I want from those conversations. Sometimes I don't clarify my interests to the other person.
Unfortunately, I can't recall the specific steps to becoming a super communicator, which is disappointing. I'll have to relisten to the book to grasp those steps better.